Kendall in Wonderland
by PurpleFlamesAndSevenSense
Summary: 'Alice' found himself in Wonderland somehow… He curses and blames it on that white rabbit. Follow him down?
1. Down the Rabbit Hole

**Hey guys! Yes, I am starting another fic! I've had a few chapters of this one prewritten for a while… I just wanted to make sure that it was done "cooking" for you guys. I hope you enjoy this one!**

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_Kendall_

I didn't plan to be here. I blame it on that white rabbit. It was so interesting, and I just _had_ to follow it.

I watched as its furry butt hopped around the corner of the street. I couldn't help myself once I had started to go after it.

That overgrown bunny was fast. Pretty soon, I had to break out into a run just to keep up with it, but I still had to keep my distance as well.

After a good half hour of breaking my legs to keep up with the glorified mammal, said animal stopped in front of a large Oak tree in the outskirts of the State park.

It pulled out a random pocket watch from somewhere on its body.

Where the hell did it come from? Where was it being kept?

As I neared closer, I could hear it whispering to the watch. Or maybe I was just hearing things.

"Oh, I'm late. So, so late."

Nope, that was real.

I almost fell on my face right before I saw the fluffy beast snap its fing- paws and the ground in front of the tree seemingly listened to its 'command.' The grass crackled on the surface as a gaping hole was soon revealed, leading underground.

I let out a soft gasp, then clapped my hands over my mouth. The rabbit didn't turn around or seem to notice me as it jumped into the hole.

Aw, man. I had to do it too, didn't I? I could have walked away and forgotten all about this weird day, or I could have went down the hole into a foreign place. I mean, what if it was some weird hole that led to China? You never know...

Unfortunately, the hole decided that it needed to hurry my decision-making process by rapidly closing back up. I had to make a decision. And of course, I acted without thinking.

I jumped in too, right before the hole closed back up, leaving me encased in total darkness.

-o.O.o-

_Kendall_

I fell. I think.

At least, it felt like I was falling. I couldn't be sure.

I dared to open my eyes, but as soon as I did, I snapped my eyelids over my eyes so fast that it hurt.

I was definitely falling. But why was it taking me so long to reach the bottom of...whatever this was? I looked around and could make out the shapes of little cupboards and dressers on the sides of the hole in the darkness. On one of the shelves, I picked up a little jar of jelly. I opened it and dipped my finger in, ready to have a taste.

My fingers scooped up air.

Seriously? What was the point in having a jar of jelly in an endless hole if it was empty?

I was still falling, so I just put it on another one of the shelves I passed.

I started counting the seconds. This was getting boring.

I was pretty sure it had been about ten minutes by now. I was starting to get bored. I started talking to myself after what felt like another 20 minutes.

"What was the point in this? Before that lunatic rabbit came by, I was just sitting by a tree, reading a simple book. My favourite book for that matter, _Fahrenheit 451_ by Ray Bradbury. That man is a genius."

After what I was sure had been 30 more minutes, I was starting to sound crazy. "What of my cat? What's become of her? What was her name? Cheeto? Dorito? Wait… I don't have a cat. But I _am _getting hungry…"

My self monologue was interrupted by my fall coming to an end. I abruptly landed on my butt in the middle of a large room with a checkered floor. The room had several doors and clocks all around, chiming different times. I looked around, trying to get my bearings, before I laid eyes on that evil rabbit. I got up as fast as I could and started to follow him. Unfortunately, the bunny had gone through a corridor that I couldn't fit through. I slinked back into the middle of the room, looking around again. There was a single glass table right in the middle of the room. There was a key right on top. I grabbed the key and placed it in the palm of my hand, making my way over to the corridor.

Then I realized that I wasn't small enough to fit through. I went back over to the table to look for anything that may have helped me, like a stick or something. Maybe a hockey stick… Those could prove to be helpful at times…

Once I got back to the table, I placed the key back on the table top and saw a small vial of liquid sitting there.

That hadn't been there before...had it?

I picked up the vial and examined it a little bit. It was clear glass and had words printed on the side, "DRINK ME." It looked like alcohol. Alcohol wasn't all that bad, right?

Eh, it was worth a shot. I popped the cork off the bottle and sniffed the contents. It didn't _smell_ alcoholic…

I stuck out my tongue and drizzled a few drops over it. The liquid was sweet and spread throughout my mouth quite quickly. I swallowed it and the taste left my mouth.

I looked back at the table and saw it moving up. My clothes started getting bigger too. "Hmm, that's weird. I could've sworn I had gotten these in my size…" I thought aloud. I glanced at the corridor from earlier and saw that I could now fit through it...but how? '_Look down_.' whispered a subconscious voice in my brain.

I did as I was told and immediately fell down. I was gasping for air. "What is this?!" I questioned to no one in particular. I shrunk. Like, gotten smaller. Was it that weird liquid?

I searched for the glass vial and saw a larger version of it next to the base of the glass table. When I went to grab for the weird substance, I saw something else out of the corner of my eye. On the other side of the table, on the ground, was a piece of cake.

I was still hungry, so I made to eat the cake. Right before I picked it up, I saw that it read, "EAT ME."

I shrugged. "Sure, why not?" and I popped a piece of the cake in my mouth.

Nothing happened…

Wait, why was that table getting smaller?

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**Tell me what you thought of the first chapter! Should I continue the story? Let me know! So I got a few reviews on my last story, telling me that this one should be Kames… I'm not quite sure, though! I don't even know if this story is going to be a complete romance yet! But I've already done a mild Kames on one of my other stories (and a Kogan on my last one), so I thought that there should at least be a bit of variety between them… I don't know yet, but I was thinking Kenlos? Please let me know what you guys would like to see! **


	2. The Pool of Tears

**Second chapter, here we go!**

**Oh, Disclaimer! I don't own BTR or Alice in Wonderland or anything from it!**

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_Kendall_

I shrugged. "Sure, why not?" and I popped a piece of the cake in my mouth.

Nothing happened…

Wait, why was that table getting smaller?

I looked down again and saw that I was growing back to my normal size. So I guessed that the drink made me shrink and the cake made me grow.

But wait...I was getting even taller than before. My clothes had started shrinking. I looked up and I could touch the ceiling with my hand, which I hadn't been able to do before. It was getting cramped fast and I was uncomfortable. I was frustrated. I wanted to go home. I crouched down and tried to peer through the corridor again, but to no avail. I couldn't even get my head down there.

"Curiouser and curiouser!" I started to cry. I couldn't handle something like this. I only wanted to see what that rabbit was doing. Because of my enlarged state, my tears were larger. They started pooling at my feet. After a while of crying out my frustrations, I felt dehydrated and there was a sizable pool of tears on the ground.

I heard ticking coming from the small corridor and heard footsteps coming fast. I dried my face and tried to calm down. Maybe someone was coming to help me.

It wasn't a 'someone.' It was a 'something.' That darned white rabbit came scurrying back through the corridor and into the room. He looked at that blasted pocket watch and muttered, "The Duchess is waiting! Oh, no! I must hurry, for I am late!"

"Sir!" I called. Maybe he could help me. "Mr. Rabbit! Can you help me?"

That bastard ignored me. He kept going on about some Duchess and being late. What on earth could he be late for?

Pretty soon, the rabbit started running. He dropped a pair of gloves and a little fan like those Asian Geishas wave around a lot. I picked up the gloves and put them in my back pocket so they were secure. Perhaps I could give it back to that deranged overgrown bunny.

It was starting to get all hot in the cramped space, so picked up the fan and I started fanning myself. I felt my clothes begin to loosen back up. Perhaps cooling myself down did the trick. But why was the table getting bigger again? I stopped fanning myself and the table stopped growing. I stopped shrinking.

I fanned myself until I was the size of the small corridor. But then I looked up and realized that I had left the key on the table. I couldn't go back to get it, could I?

I tried to stand up, but then realized that I was swimming. My tears from earlier hadn't completely drained out of the room yet. I started swimming around the room, into the corridor. It seemed endless. I thought that there might have been a door at the end of it, hence the key, but there was no such thing. In fact, the corridor only led into a larger room than before, this one seemingly endless. I kept swimming, tasting my own salty tears, hoping to get somewhere. I swam until my arms and legs were so strained that they felt like noodles. I had gotten far enough away from the corridor to the point where I couldn't see it anymore.

But that didn't mean that I knew where I was. I was too tired to keep moving, so I just closed my eyes, laid on my back and floated. I knew that I was being carried by my sea of tears, but I didn't even know which direction I was moving in. Pretty soon, I felt a shadow being cast across my face. I opened my eyes to find a huge-arse rat floating on a barrel.

"Hey! Mousey! Where am I? Can you help me? Please? I'm looking for a cray-cray white rabbit. He dropped his gloves and this random fan. Do you know him or where he is?" I rambled.

"Je suis désolé. Je ne parle pas votre langue, petit. Je voudrais pouvoir aider. Allez apprendre le français et revenir plus tard. Peut-être que je vais vous aider alors… Vous regardez perdu."

What the f language was that? French? "Ooh, I know a little bit of French…! Excusez-moi , savez-vous quoi que ce soit sur les chats?" I asked. I asked if it knew anything about cats, even though I didn't have one. In retrospect, it was probably a bad question seeing as I was asking a mouse about a cat…

As expected, the mouse started getting scared and panicked. I racked my brain for any of the French words and sentences I picked up in middle school. "Je suis vraiment désolé! Comment sur les chiens à la place?" I apologized. Then I suggested dogs instead.

The mouse seemed to get even more panicked and afraid. It started using its front paws to propel the barrel away from me, trying to get away. I started apologizing in French before yelling, "I'm sorry! I'll stop asking about dogs and cats if you'll come back! I need your help!"

I soon realized that the mouse didn't understand and recited the whole thing in French, "Je suis désolé! Je vais me arrêter poser des questions sur les chiens et les chats si vous reviendrez! J'ai besoin de votre aide!"

My French was being put to the test. The mouse came swimming back timidly. It passed me and motioned for me to follow it. It muttered something about having a story to tell about why it hated cats and dogs once we got to shore. Or maybe it was talking about an ingrown toenail. I couldn't be sure.

I started swimming with the mouse, who was lucky enough to have found a barrel instead of just swimming and getting tired. I raised my arms, silently asking the mouse to give me a break; my arms and legs weren't even burning anymore, they were numb. It squeaked and pointed up ahead of us. There was another animal in a bottle. It poked its head out, getting air. The mouse and I both swam over to it. The rodent and the other animal, a duck I believed, started communicating with some weird arse complicated language that I had no hopes of understanding. I just looked around, observing, as the two conversed. Pretty soon, the duck was coming along with us as well.

This happened quite a few more times with several different species of bird. There was a Dodo, which I was sure were extinct, a Lory, and a baby eagle (an eaglet). Each of the other animals had their own sort of transportation: the dodo was floating using a piece of wood, and the lory was perched on top of a piece of cork which was probably from a boat or something. The eaglet was flying, occasionally resting on one of the other animals' shoulders.

I eventually just grabbed onto the mouse's barrel and let him drag me toward wherever.

A short while later, a shore started to come into sight.

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**How was this one? I'm personally cringing inside, but tell me what you thought of the chapter! **


	3. A Caucus Race and A Long Tale

**New chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this one! Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter and those who followed/favourited my story! ;)**

**Disclaimer - I don't own BTR/BTR characters or Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, which belongs to the wonderful mind of Lewis Carroll.**

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_Kendall_

A short while later, a shore started to come into sight.

The animals and I all made our way over to it. As soon as I set foot on solid land, I promptly sat down and began to wring out my shirt.

"Ugh, how am I ever going to get dry? At this rate, it'll take weeks!" I complained.

"You _could _just sit there and let the sun dry you off." suggested the lory.

"But the sun isn't out. and I don't want to just _sit _here. I want to go home. The faster, the better."

"Yes, but even though the sun may not be out, it is still quite warm. You would dry off faster if you were to only relax." she argued.

"But I don't _want_ to 'only relax,' I want to hurry up and get home! I won't be able to do that while I'm wet, now will I?" I retorted.

"_I_ am older, therefore _I_ have more experience when it comes to these things." she said.

"Oh really? Then how much older _are_ you?" I asked with a smirk.

"A lady _never_ tells her age."

I tried to reason with the lory, but she just had SO many excuses. I couldn't help but shoot every one of her suggestions down. I know she was trying to help, but eventually, we just started arguing about the most random things.

The mouse couldn't take anymore and decided to interject. Good. Less of me wasting my breath on that crazy parrot. He told in French at us to calm down and that we needed to settle things rationally, not with a bunch of random yelling.

Eventually, the mouse started lecturing us historically in French. (I'll translate to the best of my abilities.)

"You guys want to be dry? I'll share with you the driest thing that I know. William the Conqueror…" went the mouse. He started sharing the most boring story I had ever heard in my life.

The lory interrupted him, "This is so BORING! Share something interesting."

"Hmm? Did someone rude say something?" he asked.

"What? No. Of course not. It wasn't me!" she responded.

"I thought you did. No matter. I will continue...the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury found it advisable-"

"Found WHAT?" asked the duck.

"IT. They found IT." answered the mouse.

"What is IT?"

"You know what IT is, I don't need to tell you." The mouse soon turned his attention to me. "How are you now? Feel any better? Any more dry?"

I stared at him. I wasn't even upset anymore. I was gloomy. "I'm still wet, tired, and hungry." I sighed.

The dodo spoke up, "Well then, I propose that we stop all of this nonsense boring talk and we-"

"Speak English! I understand absolutely NONE of this!" yelped the Eaglet.

"I say that we have a caucus-race." said the dodo.

"...what on Heaven's Earth is that?" I asked, utterly confused.

The dodo explained. There had to be a sort of racetrack made/mapped out. All along the route, the different animals, and I, were placed in different locations. Then, we were told to just run in whichever direction we wished for however long we wished. We didn't know when the race would be over, but about half an hour after running and the race started, the dodo said it was over.

We all gathered back together, dry once more due to the running.

"Who won?" I asked. Was there even a way to win?

The dodo's breath hitched. "I didn't think about that…" he mumbled quietly. "Uh, ALL of us have one! We need to give out prizes!" he improvised.

I groaned. This dodo was such a… dodo.

"Who's giving out the prizes?" everyone but me asked.

"Why, this blonde fellow over here!" said the dodo, pointing at me.

"WHAT?!" I yelled. I didn't have anything to give!

"Empty your pockets! Right now! Do it." the duck demanded darkly.

"Why do I have to do it?" I whined, "Make the dodo give some of his feathers! He'll be extinct soon enough!"

The dodo gasped in offense. I laughed at him. He glared at me and my laughs died down. After a while, I conceded and went digging through my pockets. All I found were a pack of Icebreakers and a stick of chapstick (both of which were miraculously dry).

I pulled out the Icebreakers and gave one piece of mint (each) to everyone, which they promptly ate and sat down afterwards. There wasn't enough for me, so I just sat down with them.

"Wait, the long-haired one also needs a prize for himself." observed the mouse.

"...you're right, mousy. What else do you have in those monstrosities you call pockets?" asked the dodo. Well bossy, now aren't we?

I pulled out the chapstick and handed it to the dodo. He took it and observed it, flipping it around a little before holding it out to me and solemnly saying, "We humbly present you with this…" he looked at it, "Cherry lip wax."

Gee, thanks.

"You're welcome! So modest!" complimented the dodo. I had said that out loud? Whatever.

-o.O.o-

"Hey, mouse! You never told me why you dislike cats and dogs so much," the mouse cringed at my use of the words, "I mean, I get cats, you're a mouse...but why dogs too?"

"Well, I suppose I should tell you my tail. It _is_ rather a long and sort of sad tail, but I guess we have time." began the mouse. I peered at his tail. It looked fine to me. And it wasn't that long either. How could a tail be sad? "There was once a cat named Fury who randomly and completely stumbled upon a mouse. The cat said to the mouse, 'come with me and I will put you on trial. I shall prosecute you for no reason in the court of law.'

"The mouse replied back, 'well how can you prosecute me if there is no judge, jury, or even a court building to prosecute me in? There's no real point.'

"Fury said to the mouse, 'I can be the judge AND the jury! I will be able to condemn you to death for absolutely no reason with no motives at all!' Blondie! Are you even paying attention to me?!"

"Uh, yeah!" I said.

"Then where am I in my tail?"

"You're in like, the fifth bend, right?" I asked, pointing to the fifth curve in the mouse's tail.

"I knew it! You weren't paying attention!"

"Of course I was!"

"Were not!" he yelled at me in French. We went on like this, arguing for a while. Finally, the mouse stood up and stormed off, yelling many...expletives in French behind him. What did I do to make him so upset?

Behind the mouse, all of the other animals were yelling and asking him to come back, but the only thing they were was _ignored_.

"...I wish Dorito, or Cheeto, or Potato were here to bring the mouse back. That nonexistent cat could help bring the mouse back so that I could get out of here with his help." I murmured.

"What was that about a chip?" asked the dodo.

"You've got a chip for a pet?" asked the duck.

"Well, he or she isn't real...but if I had a cat, I'd want it to be a he. He would be able to catch his own prey like a good boy and I wouldn't always have to play with him, but he'd be there when I need or want him." I explained. I looked up at the other animals and gasped. They all stared at me with horrified looks on their faces for a few seconds before turning tail and running away.

"What did I say?!" I yelled after them. I didn't get a response.

"Uhm...I'm alone now. Again." my eyes started tearing up. "I wish I hadn't said anything about the cat. But I really wish I had one…"

I was all alone, hungry, and wishing I had a cat. I started to cry, letting out my emotions.

I don't know how long I cried for, but soon, my eyes had started to burn and it felt like I had run out of tears.

I only sat there, staring. Until…

Until I heard footsteps.

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**Gosh, I am SUCH an airhead sometimes! I literally blanked out and was like "...why isn't the Post New Chapter button working?" then I spent the next half hour trying to figure out why...and I finally realized that I was pressing the wrong button. Others who have stories probably know what I'm talking about and understand my pain…I'm thinking about making next chapter in one of the other boys' point of view…Probably Logan. FYI: this story most likely isn't going to stray far from the original Alice's Adventures in Wonderland...maybe a few character and plot changes(but nothing major)… Let me know what you all think about that and tell me what you thought of the chapter! **


	4. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

**Another chapter, another...idk, I don't know anything that rhymes right now. I hope you all enjoy the story, and thank you to all of those reviews, faves, and follows!**

**Disclaimer - I own basically nothing in this story except for the way I phrase things and the pairing of BTR and AiW.**

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_White Rabbit (Logan)_

"I'm so so late!" I whimpered as I moved back and forth in my human form, wearing a hole in the ground with my pacing, looking for my gloves and fan. I must've dropped them somewhere. I had to hurry to see the Duchess; she must've been getting impatient. Oh, but I needed to find those gloves first! I know I had them when I was in the Grand Hall, I remember because I was getting wet by that silly (but very handsome) crying blonde boy! Maybe he knows where they are! Oh, but I was so very late!

"Who are you?" I heard a voice come from behind me.

I whirled around in place and came face to face with the one and only. "No time. So late. The Duchess; she'll have me executed!" I yelped. Then I realized that the boy could have my fan and gloves.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and started shaking him. "BOY!" I yelled, "Where have you put my fan and gloves?!" I asked. I started patting his body, searching his pockets and any other hiding places. I didn't find anything.

"Hey! Where are you touching? What are you doing?" he shouted.

"You have my gloves! And my fan! No matter. Mary Ann, go to my home and fetch me another pair of gloves and a fan! Pronto!"

I must have scared him so, as he turned his non-existent tail and ran as fast as his legs could carry him in the direction I pointed to.

-o.O.o-

_Kendall_

What was with that dude? He said something about a pair of gloves and a fan… but… didn't that rabbit from earlier drop a pair of gloves and a fan? Why was that cute boy looking for the same thing?

Unless...he was the same one from before. It would make sense, as much sense could be made in this place… He had the same ears and tail as before, but the rest of him looked like a human. He was pretty good looking, at that. But I was still running toward the direction he had pointed me in.

I left without so much as even an explanation from him. What was I running around, being his maid for? Was I going to get something in return?

He just seemed so urgent, and I got lost in those chocolate brown eyes for what seemed like an eternity (although, in reality, it was only about two seconds).

Wait...did he call me Mary Ann? So I look like a girl now, is that it? I guess that made me pretty, then… I guessed he would be surprised once he found out who I was.

Ugh, how was I supposed to even know which house would be his? Maybe I could back out and ditch, sneak off somewhere else...but he'd find me. I knew he would if I even tried to do something like that.

I went back to pondering the houses I passed and muttering to myself. "I don't even know which house belongs to him. What colour is it? Just because he's cute and he probably knows it doesn't mean that he can boss me around like that. But now that I thought about it...he did remind me of that White Rabbit from before. They both were looking for the same things and had the same voice…"

That's it! That boy was the White Rabbit! He looked like he was about my age, and he must have been able to transform into both human and animal forms or something. I knew it was a weird notion, but what _wasn't_ weird in this place?

Now back to that house. "Which one _is_ it?" I asked aloud.

"This way." I heard someone whisper.

"Huh?" I looked around, wondering who had spoken to me. I didn't see anything, except -

Did that rock just blink?

I crouched down and examined it, but nothing happened. I poked it, and this time, I felt a little tremor run through it.

"If you show yourself, I'll give you piece of cake." I said, smirking.

This time, I was absolutely sure that the rock had moved. "OOH, CAKE? WHERE?" said the rock as it opened its eyes. They were a pretty shade of amber.

A rock.

With _amber eyes._

Yeah, no. I was _definitely_ going insane.

I threw the rock in the air out of impulse, barely having any time to catch it before it came back down due to gravity.

"Did...did you just _talk_?" I asked the rock softly.

"Yep! Name's Bitters, by the way. So about that cake…"

"Wait, weren't you saying something about which way to go? To the rabbit's house?" I asked.

"Yeah, I know where it is, but now that you've mentioned sweets…" I rolled my eyes and pulled out the chapstick I had and shoved it in its mouth before demanding to know where that rabbit's house was.

It stared at me with wide eyes and started shivering in my hand. Its eyes darted a certain direction, and I knew that that was where I needed to go. I took back the chapstick, placed the rock back where I found it, and started on my way to the house.

-o.O.o-

The entire way to the house, I had been mumbling to myself, sounding insane. Most of the babble had been about Lay's or Frito, or whatever that darned cat's name was.

Once I had finally gotten inside, I made a beeline for the couch and sat down. After a while of sitting, I went over to the fridge for some food, or a drink maybe. I was still hungry, especially after all that crying, growing, and shrinking I did back there.

Once I got to the fridge, the only thing that was in there was a vial of a strange coloured liquid. This bottle didn't really have anything labeled on the outside, so I figured it was safe enough to drink.

I tipped back the liquid, but before I could even finish it, I had started growing again.

After a few moments of growing, I barely even fit inside the room! I had to shove my arm through one of the windows, and somehow, my foot got stuck inside of the chimney of the little home.

I only sat there, having nothing better to do and nowhere to go. Literally. I guess one could say that everything that has happened to me so far is like a fairy tale. I've always wanted to write one of those myself, instead of always just reading them. Maybe I could do it when I get a little bit older.

Not too far off, huh?

But...what about my new size? Would I stay like this forever? If I did, would I even age? Maybe I wouldn't, considering how big I was. Or what ab-

"Mary Ann? Mary Ann, where are you? Where are my gloves? And my fan? You were supposed to bring them to me a while ago!" the White Rabbit came running, interrupting my train of thought about those random things. He tried to barge through the door, but of course, one of my limbs was preventing from him doing so. I held in a snigger as he slammed into my foot and fell on his butt.

I watched him as he went around to the side of the house and tried to climb in on the first floor window. I was starting to get really uncomfortable in the position I was in, so I shifted, slapping him away from the window on accident.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to!"

He sighed and shook his head. "It's fine, Mary Ann. Just...eat this." the cute boy- the rabbit took a small piece of a cake out of his pocket and handed it to me. I took it gratefully and popped it in my mouth. This time it tasted like stale chips and I had to cough in order to prevent myself from spitting it out completely.

"Thanks...Mr. Rabbit." I said before I heard a screeching commotion from behind me.

"There! That's her! She was trying to destroy the White Rabbit's house just now!"

I turned around to see a mob of..._colourful_ looking people. They all looked quite upset.

By then, I had started shrinking again and was almost back to my regular size.

"It was nice while it lasted, Mr. White Rabbit, but I really must go! By the way, my name is Kendall, not Mary Ann." I added an afterthought, "Although, Alice has become a common name for me here as well... Anyway, gotta go!" I yelped before high tailing it out of those woods and away from the crazy looking mob.

After only about five minutes, _another_ obstacle was in my way.

An _enormous_ dog was standing tall and proud in front of me, wagging its tail.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed under my breath.

I looked around my surroundings, trying to find something that would help me.

I could only HOPE that it wasn't hungry...

I found a stick and decided to have the dog chase it.

"Fetch, Fido!" I yelled as I tossed the stick. The dog was off and chasing that thing before I could even blink. It was back in a matter of seconds.

I kept the process going: throw, dog brings it back, take from dog, throw again. The dog was pretty tired out after a while.

It laid down, head on paws, and promptly fell asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly turned heel and ran off past the dog, trying to get as far away from it as I could.

-o.O.o-

_Logan (White Rabbit)_

I felt sort of bad for calling the boy by a girl's name, but I didn't know his name yet, and he was pretty, so I couldn't help myself.

After I sent him off to go fetch me a pair of my gloves, I deemed him too unworthy to bring them to me (as he was taking _entirely too long_ to bring them), so I went to the house on my own. I was in a rush! Oh, that duchess would surely have my hide! She'd probably skin me, then hang my remains over her fireplace as a trophy or something. I didn't want that! I liked having my hide! Especially my tail!

I ran up to the house and gasped. The pretty boy was huge! He must've been going through my fridge. I smirked, _serves him right._

His arms and legs were everywhere! I tried to go through the front foot, but his foot was blocking me. I tried to charge it, but I only succeeded at knocking myself on my tail.

I tried the window next, but he slapped me away with his giant hand! I gave up and have him a piece of the cake that shrunk whoever ate it.

He ate it, shrank back down, then ran.

Right before he left though, he told me his name.

"Kendall, huh? I'll call you Alice. No need to be any more unique than everyone else." I whispered under my breath to no one in particular.

-o.O.o-

_Kendall_

I left that dog behind and started making my way nowhere. I didn't know where to go, but soon enough, the trees were thinning out and I could tell that something else was bound to happen in the next few moments.

I kept walking and hit something solid.

"Huh. That tree wasn't there a second ago..." I whispered to myself. I looked up and gasped. What I had bumped into wasn't a tree. It was a mushroom!

I got closer to the mushroom and started to climb. I mean, what if it was all cool up there? I could, like, take a nap. I was tired anyway.

Once I got to the top, I was interrupted by a deep, obnoxious voice.

"Who...arrrre...youuuu?"

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**How was the chapter? Really sorry for the late update! I know this story is my baby, but I've been REALLY busy (end of the school year) and all... And I don't have my laptop anymore, so the updates are going to be coming out sorta slow for the next month or so (just until I get my new laptop in July or something)...! I'm really sorry for that! But I hope you enjoyed the chapter; let me know your thoughts on it!**


	5. Advice from a Caterpillar

**Hey all! I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Disclaimer - I own basically nothing in this story except for the way I phrase things and the pairing of BTR and AiW.**

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_Kendall_

"Who...arrrre...youuuu?"

I whirled around in my spot, hearing a strange, deep voice speak to me.

My eyes scanned the top of the mushroom until they rested upon the strangest sight I had seen in the weird place so far...there was a blue caterpillar. With glasses. Like, the whole shebang...and it was smoking. A hookah. Like, a hookah pipe. Maybe all that liquid and salt water (tears) from earlier was getting to me.

I stared at the caterpillar, standing stock still. It looked right back at me. We went on like this, stating, for a looooong while. About ten minutes later, the weird blue pre-butterfly spoke again. Like, legit _spoke to me._

"Who...arrrre...youuuu?" he asked again.

"Uh, I'm Kendall."

"Who is Kendall? I see no one by the name of Kendall. All I see is Aliiiiccccceee." he said, all snake-like.

"Yeah, I've been getting that a lot lately."

"Ssssoooo just _what_ is your name?"

I sighed. "Alice."

"Gooood. Now, I want you to recite me a poem."

"A poem? What kind of poem?"

"Any kind."

"Um..." my mind blanked out, so I went with the simplest route, "Roses are red, violets are-"

"No, no, NO. It's all wrong. Fix it. Or recite another one." the overgrown worm demanded.

I sighed. "Fine. 'Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

'Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore-'"

"No! It's still all wrong! I cannot handle you and your incompetence! You can't even handle a simple Edgar Allan Poe poem!" the evil, cancer holding worm huffed before he started crawling (well, slithering and inching, really) away from the mushroom. Before he was completely out of sight, the caterpillar yelled behind him, "One side will make you grow and the other will make you shrink." he called before he was no longer visible.

One side will make me grow...? What was that supposed to mean?

I shrugged and plopped down on the mushroom, face first. After a while of thinking and taking what the worm said into consideration, I realized that he was talking about the very mushroom I was laying on.

I tried the right side first. I shrunk and stared with a straight face at a tree for the longest time, thinking, _seriously_. Really?

Then, I picked off a piece of the left side of the mushroom and bit into it. Somehow, it had the same taste as that cake from earlier.

I felt absolutely...nothing happening. Then I realized what happened. My neck was starting to grow! Something similar to an ostrich's I could suppose...

Pretty soon, I could see above the clouds. Like, as if I was in an airplane or something. But I didn't think I'd ever flown on one before...

I couldn't move any further than the few inches my neck was moving, swaying in the wind. After a while, I felt something attacking my neck.

I looked down and saw a pigeon stabbing my flesh with its beak.

"Hey. Hey! HEY!" I tried getting the bird's attention.

It looked up at me. "What?"

"What do you think you're doing?! That's my neck!" I yelped.

"...your _neck_? I thought it was a snake or something that was trying to hurt my babies." The bird gestured to its nest. _Her_ nest. Sure enough, there were about half a dozen little chicks in the nest, chirping their little featherless heads off.

"Hey, I'm sorry for scaring you, but it's just my neck, and I'm not trying to hurt your children or anything. You have my word." I said.

"Your word. Can I trust you?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Hmm...okay. I'm sorry for trying to break your neck."

"It's fine. Nice meeting you, I suppose! Any names to give me?"

"Ah, no, sadly. We don't live long enough for that."

"Well, mine's Kendall. I'll see you around, I suppose..."

The pigeon nodded and warbled before stalking back to her nest, leaving me alone with two small pieces of mushroom in my hands.

I bit into each piece repeatedly, until I reached my normal size once again.

I ran off after that, shoving the rest of the mushroom pieces in my pockets, making sure to separate them so that I was able to tell the difference.

I ran, breathless, in front of this little house in a clearing in the woods. And by little, I meant _little_. Like, the thing was only about 4 feet tall.

I took out the right side of the mushroom and shoved a piece in my mouth.

I took a last look at the normal sized tree before it steadily got even taller in front of me.

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**How was the chapter? Please tell me your thoughts! I know I'm probably just being paranoid, but I feel like no one is reading the story anymore? I'm going to let it go on for a few more chapters...like I said before, I really love this story! Oh! I apologize for any grammatical errors; my computer is MIA for a few months, so I'm having to use my phone and autocorrect hates me...So guess what happened? At my school's formal: the theme was Alice in Wonderland! I wasn't allowed to go due to personal issues, but I heard that it was pretty cool! Anyway, past my paranoid/crazy self, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	6. Pig and Pepper

**Hey all! Enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer - I own nothing in this story except for the way I phrase things, ship pairs, and the pairing of BTR and AiW**.

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_Kendall_

I looked out from my place in the brush that was serving as my hiding spot. My eye caught on something...not completely normal.

"What in the motherloving heck on god's earth is that?!" I whisper yelled to no one in particular.

I was eyeing a particularly...un-beautiful creature.

A fish.

Out of water.

And it was walking.

Like, _walking_ walking. On two...fins.

It walked up to the house I was scoping out, and rang the doorbell. What type of fish rang a doorbell? It was wearing this absolutely ridiculous outfit, like something a coach's footman would wear.

Soon, the door opened, revealing another un-beautiful creature, a frog.

A wet, slimy, green, hiccuping, wart giving frog. (If you couldn't tell, I hated those things more than fish).

The frog was dressed pretty similarly to the fish. The fish pulled out this giant envelope, and he handed it to the frog. The frog opened it immediately and pulled out a huge scroll of paper. He began to read it.

"Yada-yada-yad- Duchess? Meet the Queen? The Red Queen? For a croquet match? Oh my! I must go tell the Duchess!" the frog yelped, even though all it did was just stare at the letter some more.

The fish finally left, which gave me some one-on-one interrogation time with the disgusting, disease carrying frog.

I got out of my makeshift hiding spot and walked over to the frog. It wasn't even looking at the paper anymore. It was just staring at the sky, looking all weird and stupid.

I decided to forgo the sure-to-be fascinating conversation with the frog and go straight to the house.

I knocked on the door. Once.

Twice.

I waited about five minutes before knocking again.

Three times.

Okay, what the heck?

"You...you may not go in there." said the frog, sounding like an old man...

"Why 'may I not go in there,' Gandalf?" I asked.

"Because...you are outside."

"Yes. And in other news, bees make honey. Ooh, so fascinating!"

"I do not appreciate your nasty, rude, misplaced sarcasm."

"Whatever, Yoda. Just tell me why I can't go in there."

"Since you are outside, none of the people inside will know you are out here and require their presence, as they are being too loud in there to realize that you want them out here. They do not, and will not hear you."

"Are you joking."

"Do I look like I'm joking, young lady?"

Really? Did he really just go there? "No sir. So how long am I going to have to wait out here?"

"Well, for one, I, plan to stay out here for days. Maybe even weeks. At least, until someone comes out here and opens the door for me."

Just then, the door cracked open just an inch. Just big enough for something like a frisbee to fit through.

And then the unthinkable happens. A flaming plate flies through the narrow crack right before the door slams shut once again.

The frog's nose, snout, scent holes, (whatever that thing is called) was clipped by the burning plate. The frog didn't even flinch.

Well then.

All he did was sigh.

"You know what, Picard? I'll see you on the flip side. Bye!" I said. I quickly stood up and dashed for the door.

I opened it, and another plate came out. Only, this time, it wasn't on fire. And it was broken. So it was basically a plate shard. Flying past my head. Possibly going to kill me.

Okay. Almost like I was used to it...only proving that I needed to get out of there as fast as possible.

I dodged the plate shard and walked inside the house, coming straight into a kitchen.

There was the smell of something...meaty...cooking. Boiling, maybe. In a soup or something. I looked around and saw a perky looking woman sitting at a table with a child in her arms, a cute cat (who had just happened to have been smiling at me all creepy-like) which was sitting on the hearth, and a cook that reminded me of Chef from the Muppets. The cook was the one who was cooking (hence the name), throwing a buttload of spices into the already jacked cauldron of soup, which was hanging over a fire in the fireplace.

The spices the cook kept throwing in the soup were making quite the dust cloud. The cloud took a detour from floating up and out the chimney, instead going over to the woman and the child. It made them sneeze.

Over. And over. And over again.

"Who are you?" I asked Ms. Piggy.

"I am the Duchess."

"Duchess who?"

"Jo."

"Why is that cat over there smiling? It's creepy."

"It's a Cheshire Cat. And it is of no means 'creepy.' That is its natural state."

"Well, then I guess that it would make the cat weird instead of creepy. Why would a cat even have the need to smile, special type of cat or not?"

"You're a stupid little girl." Girl, she says. "If you feel the need to ask those questions, then you must not know anything."

'Oh, Kendall! Your parents think you need to get out of the house more!' she says.

'It'll be fun!' she says.

Yeah. Right.

My bitter thoughts were interrupted by a waffle iron being chucked at my head by the cook. I ducked, and it continued to make its way at the Duchess and the child. Jo simply ducked her head and pushed the child's head down.

The closer I looked, the more I saw. Jo looked tired, no longer perky. I couldn't even see the face of the child, but it's hair was the same colour as hers. A nice shade of blonde. I wondered if it was her kin.

More random objects kept being tossed our way: pans, pots, salt.

"Chef Boyardee, you need to stop throwing things! You're gonna get one of us killed." I yelled at the cook. "Do you think that the earth's axis might have anything to do with why I'm here? I mean, how did I find you? Was I randomly following the axis without knowing it or something?"

"Axes? Axes, you say? Chop off her head!" shouted the Duchess.

She then looked down at the child and started singing some weird version of Rock-a-bye Baby.

"Rock-a-Bye baby in the treetops

"When the wind blows, the cradle will drop.

"When the cradle breaks, the baby will fall.

"And when mommy comes home, she'll eat it alive."

I stared at the Duchess once she finished singing.

"Uh, are you okay?" I asked her.

"Of course. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"..."

I never got to respond. Jo threw the baby at my head. I barely caught it. "I've gotta go! I absolutely cannot be late for an audience with the queen!"

How did she know about that? Was she already told?

I got a good grip on the baby and rolled it over in my arms.

"WHAT?!" I yelled. It wasn't a baby! It was a pig!

I took it outside and put it on the ground. It squealed before taking off into the woods.

"Well, that settled that." I mumbled to myself under my breath.

I looked up, hearing a snap of a branch above my head.

I saw the weird Cheshire Cat again, and it was staring at me just as creepily as before.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "What do you want with me?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." he growled.

"Got a name?"

"Jett." he responded. "What about you, Alice?"

I sighed. "It's Kendall. But it doesn't even matter anymore. People here seem to just call me what they like."

"Hmm."

"So...do you know where I'm supposed to go next?"

"No matter where you go, you will end up somewhere." Jett said cryptically.

"Thanks for that information, Google."

"What's a Google?"

"It's a website that you can search-nevermind."

"Ooookay. I suggest you go see the March Hare and the Mad Hatter."

"Okay."

"But I must warn you: they are both mad."

"I can't handle any more madness. It seems to be all this place runs on. I absolutely do not want to be around any more mad people."

"All people are mad here. If you're here, in Wonderland, then that means that you're mad too."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'll catch you later, Alice. I'll probably see you at the croquet match later on. See you there!"

Jett the crazy weird Cheshire Cat smiled at me and disappeared into thin air.

He reappeared for a just a moment before fading out to nothing except his signature grin. Even that faded out too after a few seconds.

"March Hare, huh? Mad Hatter? Great, more loons I have to find."

After a while of blindly stumbling around the forest with no direction, I came upon a house which was much bigger than I. I finally remembered that I had shrunk myself to fit in the house from earlier. I took out the correct side of the mushroom to make me grow and popped it in my mouth.

I grew two feet.

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**How was the chapter? Please tell me your thoughts on it! So I'd like to thank those who reviewed last chapter! Thanks to suitelifeforever9, TheGuestReviewer, jhansikirani17025, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**


	7. A Mad Tea Party

**Hey all! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own BTR or many of the characters in this story, or Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland **

* * *

_Kendall _

I was walking through the woods still, but I could tell that I was nearing the edge: the trees were finally beginning to thin out. I sighed in relief.

Pretty soon, I stumbled upon this sort of sign-looking thing, like the ones that point one way for each direction.

One side said "DEATH" and the other said "March Hare" and they each pointed in opposite directions.

I chose the latter.

Obviously.

When I was finally out in the open, I closed my eyes, then took a deep breath and stretched.

When I reopened my eyes, I found myself looking at a cluttered table with a few...creatures sitting at it.

As I got closer, I could see what was happening. There were mostly animals at the table, but there was one human (or at least, _as_ human as someone could get in this place). He sat around the middle, a rabbit next to him, and a dormouse sprawled on the table underneath him. The human wore a rather tall top hat with a ribbon around its circumference. The rabbit and the Hat Dude both had their elbows sitting on top of the dormouse, who, to me, looked to be asleep (and hopefully not dead).

There were a few more unidentifiable creatures at the table, but I paid no mind, and walked closer. Upon even closer inspection, I could see tea cups, pots, pans, and holders scattered all along the table's surface.

"What a mess," I muttered quietly to myself.

When I was pretty much right in front of the table, I cleared my throat and looked down at the man and the rabbit. When my eyes took in the sight of the man, I gasped.

He was handsome! Nice hair, pretty eyes…

"There's no room for you here! Go away. Never come back. Ever. If you do, I will hunt down your children," hissed the RUDE rabbit.

I scoffed and took a seat right across from the two of them, eyeballing the sleeping (or possibly dead) mouse on top of the table.

"So do you want some wine, Alice?" asked the rabbit, as if it hadn't just _hissed _at me a few seconds ago.

"Shut up, Hare. There is no wine. And he's probably underage too. You can't give children liqueur," the man in the hat spoke up. "I'm sorry. My friend, March Hare, over here, is a rude little munchkin. I'm James. But you can call me the Mad Hatter. Nothing else. Only the Mad Hatter. Maybe just Hatter if you prefer. I quite seem to like you," rambled the man in the hat...the Hatter.

"I am Kendall. Although you creatures here don't really seem to care and enjoy calling me whatever you please. You are right, Hatter. That _Hare_ is quite rude."

"Well it's rude to just sit down at a Tea Party table uninvited!" snapped the Hare.

"You know, Alice," began the Hatter, "Your hair needs a nice cut. It's entirely too long!"

"Well I don't think it's any of your business how my hair looks," I fumed.

"Let's have a riddling!" James suggested happily.

"NO!" yelled the Hare.

He was ignored.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

I blinked. _What?_

"Well, I dunno, maybe because one is possibly made out of WOOD or something, and the other is actually, like, ALIVE?" I spazzed.

"WRONG!" the Hatter blared.

"UGH!" the Hare yelled. "They're alike because neither of them is made of cheese! Now can we stop this madness?!"

"But I'm the 'Mad' Hatter…" pouted James.

Everything was pretty much quiet for a while after that, at least, until James asked the Hare what time it was.

The Hare shoved his watch in the Hatter's face, allowing him to see for himself. The Hatter kept a straight face, but his skin was slowly getting redder and redder.

"YOU BROKE THE WATCH!" he screeched.

"What do you mean 'I broke the watch'?"

"It's showing the same time as before! That's what I mean! You probably got your stupid bread crumbs all over it and in the gears again!"

The Hare sighed and took off his watch. He folded it over and pulled forward the nearest tea cup. He lowered the watch into the liquid and watched as it fizzled a little before letting it drop in completely. "That was some of the best bread I'd ever had…" remarked the Hare.

I just sat there, while most of this was happening. I was actually still pretty stuck on that riddle that James had told a few minutes before. I couldn't find an answer! It seemed like such a simple question! I was determined to solve the riddle.

Nevermind. I jumped from my seat and pointed at the Hatter. "This riddle is stupid! It has no answer! You should not waste time asking questions that don't have an answer, Hatter!" I accused.

"Ah ah ah," Hatter clucked his tongue at me. "You should not insult Time like that. He'll get angry. He is a 'he.' 'He' is not an 'it.'"

I looked at him like he was an idiot. Or mad, rather.

He kept talking, though. "I remember this one time when I was actually performing for the Queen of Hearts in her court. I was singing wonderfully-"

"It was only wonderful to you, Hatter," droned the Hare.

"Until the Queen," he continued, completely ignoring the rabbit, _Hare_, sitting right next to him, "Stopped me and said I was 'murdering time' by singing so 'horrendously.' Ever since that fateful day, Time had gotten mad at me and the Queen, so he completely stopped moving and stayed at six o'clock. It's pretty much like he left. But now we're stuck in Tea time forever!" declared the Hatter.

"Hatter?" asked the Hare.

"Hmm?"

"Shut up."

"Mm."

"I'm bored. I want to hear a story. Alice, tell me a story," the Hare demanded rudely.

"Psh, no. I'm fresh out of stories. Ask someone else. Just...not the Hatter."

"What's wrong with my stories?!" James questioned, furious.

I reached over the table and patted his head. "Nothing, man. It's fine."

He sank back in his seat, hat falling down over his eyes.

Meanwhile, the Hare had been coaxing the dormouse awake with a random slice of cheese that he pulled out of one of the Hatter's pockets.

The dormouse woke up, cursing the Hare for breaking him from his slumber, then he settled down and started his storytelling process.

I, of course, didn't pay any attention due to the fact that I had no clue what the story was about. I tried to keep up and ask questions, but apparently, the dormouse didn't like what I had to ask about. He got upset and asked, "So is my story so bad that even you, a little simpleton, cannot understand it? Is this how you say 'stop talking'?"

"No, that's not it at all! I'm just confused!" I claimed. The dormouse didn't buy it. He gathered himself together before hopping off the table and walking away in a weirdly distinguished manner.

"You got rid of my elbow pillow!" screeched the Hatter. The Hare went chasing after the dormouse, then came back with the mouse in his paws after a few seconds.

"Well that's not really my fault, now is it?"

"This wouldn't have happened if you weren't such a simpleton and if your hair weren't so unruly!"

"You're so rude!" I yelped before following the dormouse's lead and leaving the clearing in disgust. I looked back behind me and rolled my eyes at the sight of the Hare and the Hatter trying to shove the dormouse in one of the empty tea pots so he would stay with them.

I turned my head back around and kept walking.

-o.O.o-

I was starting to get tired after all of that walking through the woods and stuff, so I slowed my roll. I walked a few more meters before the trees started thinning out again. It was almost as if they were trying to show me the way to...somewhere.

The trees had pretty much cleared out almost all the way. Except for one…

It was a pretty huge tree. The trunk was almost the size of a car. There also seemed to be… like, a door in the trunk.

I gave up on being surprised and just pushed the door open. I walked inside and found myself right back where I started this whole mess: in the Grand Hall. I went over to the table and found another key laying on its surface. This time, I used the mushroom sides to get the key.

I used it again to be able to fit through the locked door to which the key belonged.

I shoved the key into the lock and gave it an irritated twist. I smiled to myself when I heard an unlocking sound come from it. I twisted the doorknob and swung open the door.

"Whoa…" I whispered.

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**How was the chapter? I hope it wasn't too bad! Tell me what you thought of it by leaving a review! It REALLY helps me out when you guys do leave them! The chapters come out faster, and possibly even longer! Ah, I know these updates are random and erratic, but the good news is: I GOT ANOTHER COMPUTER! I'm happy. The real reason everything was taking so long is because I was stuck using a phone :( to do all of this and I've been REALLY busy with Marching Band Camp. Anyway, thanks for reading!**


	8. The King's Croquet Ground

_Kendall_

"Whoa…" I whispered, opening the door.

I stepped inside and didn't even take much note of the door as it closed behind me. I had stepped into a large garden, amazed as I looked at it. There were flowers of every kind surrounding me. Flowers of every single colour, in the rainbow, and not. The grasses were surrounding the whole place, save for a very nice cobblestone pathway weaved throughout the garden. The trees were tall and healthy, and there was not one dead leaf in sight. It seemed kind of comical to think about, but there were even dozens of butterflies flying around the place as well.

Even as I was taken aback by just the sheer beauty of it, I noticed something happening in the corner of my eye.

I stifled my laugh as I looked at three life-sized card people. They all seemed to be watering the flowers, so I decided that they were gardeners.

Each card was red, and had a number on it. There was 3, 7, and 5. All of a sudden, they put their watering cans down and pulled buckets of red paint and paintbrushes from behind their backs.

They went over to a grove of beautimus white rose trees. Each of them got their buckets and their paintbrushes and started painting each of the white roses a blood red colour.

My eyes widened in surprise as I took in what they were doing. I ran over, stopping right behind all three of them right before I shouted, "What are you three doing?!"

All three card...men...things stopped what they were doing and looked right at me. They only stopped for a second before continuing.

One of them, 3, took a deep breath before he explained. "We have made a grave mistake, one that angered the Queen, Her Majesty."

"Well, what did you do?" I asked.

"We mistakenly planted beautiful white roses instead of beautiful red ones. Her Majesty said that she felt like they were an abomination to her kingdom, and ordered that they immediately be painted red, as it would take too long to grow any red ones," explained 7.

"Oh, well wouldn't it just be better to have-"

"Are my roses in my garden finished yet?!" boomed a man's voice from behind me.

I slowly turned around, after seeing the cards dive to their stomachs (if they even had any) and bowed before the voice, who I guessed would be the queen. But if it was a queen, then why was it a man's voice?

I gasped as I laid my eyes on a very handsome looking man and a HUGE entourage of those man/card things, half a deck or more.

The whole army of cards came to a stop, right behind the man. He was dressed all in red and had a sort of regal air about him. He looked at me with his nose tilted upwards, a scowl on his face.

"We are so sorry my queen!" the cards on the ground snuffled.

"Ugh! I keep telling everyone in this godforsaken place: I AM NOT A WOMAN. I'm a _KING_. Geez," the man yelled. King, huh? Could've sworn that he was a queen by the way everyone was talking about him. So this must be the red _King_?

"Who are you?" the king snapped, his head turning in my direction.

"Um…"

"Um? What an unusual name...So where are you from, Um?" he questioned.

"Me? I'm… from Umbridge…" Nice going, Kendall.

"Umbridge, eh? I'll have to visit there sometime."

"If you don't mind me asking, who are you?" I asked.

"ME? HA! _You _don't know who _I_ am? Wow. Umbridge must be faaaaar away. To answer your question, I am _King_ Carlos. But you may call me your Highness, your Majesty, or your Royalty. I prefer whichever," _King_ Carlos explained. When he said his name, he turned around and yelled it pretty much, making sure everyone else knew it too. The deck (army) of cards visibly winced at that.

"Alright. Well, it is very nice to meet you, your Majesty," I acknowledged politely.

"So, Um, what is wrong with my three little children over there shaking in their britches?" the King asked, looking at me questioningly.

"Oh, they're scared of you, saying you were rude and all to them, making them paint the roses red and whatnot," I responded flippantly, forgetting that I was talking to royalty.

The King's face went from friendly-ish to sour in a heartbeat. "Watch who you are talking to!" he boomed. "I am not someone you talk to like that. _Off with her head_!" he shouted, directing his words at me.

My eyes widened as I realized what he had said. Thankfully, someone else stepped out from in between the army of cards, seemingly out of nowhere. He was tall, with really long hair and crimson red clothes. He looked almost as royal as the King did.

"Calm down, my King. This little peasant girl does not know what she's talking about. In fact, I bet she's new here!" the man said, rubbing a soothing hand on King Carlos' shoulder.

The King sighed. "You're right, Dude."

The other man nodded and disappeared into the army again. "That's what assistants are for!" he yelled before he was gone completely.

I looked at the King with a questioning look. "He plays guitar a lot, so everyone around Wonderland calls him Guitar Dude," the King explained. "Okay, Um. Since you do seem to be new here, I will give you a strike or whatever. When you irritate me again, I will make sure to chop of your head. _Now_ I have to deal with these little wimps over here," he said, indicating the three gardeners on the ground, who were still whimpering and blubbering their apologies.

"_Off with their heads!_" he screeched.

"Wait!" I yelled, without thinking.

"What do you want?"

"I heard something about your croquet match? When is it? Would I be able to attend?" I asked quickly, drawing the King's attention away from the cards. I started making my way in between the King and his army, making his back face the three cards. I signaled with my hands for the gardeners to escape. They quickly took the hint and skedaddled away from the scene, I watched as they dived into a gardening pot, completely hidden from view.

Meanwhile, the King was busy blabbering away, trying to answer my questions. "...because I'm amazing. Yes, I know. But anyway, you can stay close to me in my courtyard as the game commences. Let us go!" the King shouted happily, taking my arm and dragging me away to a red carriage.

A card opened the door for the King, watching as he climbed in and pulled me in behind him. I thought the card would shut the door, but it was kept open as the King's assistant who saved me earlier piled in as well. He sat next to me as I sat across from the King.

The man exhaled a long sigh before turning to me and smiling. "It's nice to meet you, bro. I'm known as Guitar Dude around here. Maybe, if I get to know you well enough, I'll let you know my real name."

"Well that's kinda weird," I whispered under my breath, looking up at both men to see if they heard me. They didn't.

When Guitar Dude asked me what my name was, the King answered for me. "She's Um. From Umbridge. She's visiting and will be my guest and treated with utmost respect, understand?" The assistant nodded, fearing the clipped tone King Carlos was speaking in.

"Good." The rest of the ride was silent, no sounds to be heard other than the noisy crunch of gravel and dirt under thick wooden wheels. We arrived at the castle soon after, needless to say, I wasn't really surprised when I saw that the whole thing was red. The gates, pathways, flowers, roofs, pretty much everything was red. Even the water in the moat surrounding the castle was red.

...I hoped it was water.

I looked around, glad to see that at least the grass and the bricks the castle was made out of weren't red. I probably would have had a heart attack or something. I thought about it.

The carriage stopped right on the edge of the moat, and the sound of the footman yelling toward the gate could be heard. There were a few creaks as the drawbridge was most likely lowered and we were on our way inside the castle.

Soon after, the carriage stopped and the three of us got out, the King first, followed by Guitar Dude, and then finally, me. I almost fell flat on my face when I got out, but luckily the footmen were there to catch me. I shot them grateful glances before catching up with King Carlos and Guitar Dude, who were both already making their way through the castle deftly. They were walking so fast, I actually fell a few times, hoping neither royal member noticed my faceplant moments.

After a good _half hour_, we finally stopped walking, coming to an open set of doors, each of which I could see led to a huge courtyard. King Carlos stepped through the doors first, then followed by his assistant, and then myself, much like how we three got out of the carriage.

I took a double take as I saw how the croquet match was set up. There was a pile of live hedgehogs curled into ball-shapes, a golf-looking tote with three or four _live _flamingoes sitting calmly in it, and the arches that the balls were supposed to be hit through were actually cards from the King's army, on all fours, backs arched enough so that a hedgehog ball could fit through them. I let out a shaky breath, seeing how demented in the head King Carlos might be.

I took another look around, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Duchess, Jo, standing next to that damned White Rabbit. She didn't look too happy, and I figured out why. Her hands were bound in cuffs.

I went over to the pair and asked Jo why she was bound.

The White Rabbit answered in turn for her. "She made fun of the Queen's ear size and the Queen sentenced her for execution."

"She'll be fine. I need to talk to you, Mister." I picked up the Rabbit and made my way to a clearing behind a corner of the castle. "Human form!" I snapped.

The Rabbit rolled his chocolate brown eyes and complied, growing in size and less furry until there was only a pair of white rabbit ears and a fluffy little tail. His clothes somehow managed to grow and shape with him, but in this place, I had learned not to ask too many questions.

He sighed in relief once his transformation was over, and I sighed once more at the sight of him. I knew I had only seen him like that a little while ago, but he was still one of the prettiest things I had seen since coming here, other than the Hatter...That reminded me…

"YOU! You're the reason I'm here!" I whisper-shouted.

He scoffed, "As if. You followed me here on your own will."

"Well, yeah, but if you weren't so freaking _interesting_, I would have been fine, and this wouldn't have happened!"

"Oh, please. Now you're just finding reasons to blame _me_ for _your_ life problems," he said, scoffing once more.

"Whatever. I want you to help me get home."

"Ah, young stupidity."

"Rude much?"

"No, you're excused."

I groaned. I was getting nowhere, but fortunately, the King interrupted me, screaming for everyone to direct their attention to the tournament. I made my way to the throne, kneeling next to it. The Rabbit followed closely behind me, standing behind the throne.

He leaned close to me and whispered in my left ear, "By the way, my name is Logan, if I haven't already told you."

"Logan…" I whispered, entranced, enchanted. After this, the rabbit picked himself up and scurried away, a red tint to his pale cheeks and a smirk on his face.

"The game will now commence!" I heard the King screech, picking up a flamingo and hitting a hedgehog. I watched as the hedgehog rolled through the first two arches of cards, stopping right in front of the third.

As the game went on, King Carlos kept losing, getting more and more frustrated with everyone and everything that moved and breathed. Pretty soon, he went all out, yelling and ordering the guards to decapitate everyone in his presence. I rolled my eyes and went over to the gate which led to the huge set of double doors that would let me out of this horrid place.

I crept through the gate, but I was stopped behind a bush right next to the doors. I looked out of the corner of my eye, seeing a bright white grin I had seen before.

"Jett? The Cheshire Cat? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Oh, who? Me? Why, Alice! I told you we'd be seeing more of each other. Tell me, how are you getting on these days?" Jett became fully visible, letting me see more than just his teeth.

"Oh man. Don't even get me started. I met that crazy King everyone keeps talking about, King Carlos? I thought he was _really_ nice and _sane_ at the time. But then we spent ten minutes together and now I can't stand him. He's so weird! I mean, not like everything isn't weird here, but still. And what do you mean, 'getting on these days,'? I just saw you this morning! I've only been here for 3 days!"

Jett brushed off my complaints as if they were miniature dust bunnies on his jacket. "Don't worry. You'll get used to it. Just like everyone else here did."

"You!" the King's assistant came over towards us, his eyes narrowing at the cat in midair. "What are you doing here? Ugh, _cats._ I can't _stand_ cats! I knew I smelled something feline coming from over here." He looked at me. "And _you_! Why are you fraterinizing with the enemy?"

Jett answered before I could. "I am here because I was invited," he smoothly lied.

"You lie! I was in charge of all invitations and I made sure that I did not include you or any of your kind to this tournament," the assistant challenged.

"Well, there is no law stating I can't be here, now is there?"

"As I've said before, I can't _stand_ cats! King Carlos!" he called. "I need you to take care of this nuisance for me! Jett the Cheshire Cat is annoying me! He doesn't belong here!"

"Executioner! Come here now!" called the King, making his way toward me, Jett, and his assistant. A short, fat man with a machete came running to us, looking eager to chop off some limbs.

"Take care of this random floating cat," said the King simply before walking away.

"With pleasure…" said the executioner before looking at the cat and grinning evilly. That grin soon disappeared, though.

"W-what? How do I execute a _head_?" asked the man.

"Uh...split the head in half?" suggested the assistant, Guitar Dude.

The assistant and the executioner had both looked upon Jett, seeing that the rest of his body had vanished and yet only his head remained visible, effectively tricking both of the men. But I could tell what was really going on.

"You, Blonde one, Um. Tell me how I shall get rid of your friend!" ordered the King's assistant.

"Ah, er, ask the Duchess! Unbind her and bring her here! She's this cat's owner," I said convincingly, winking at the Cheshire Cat. He got the hint.

Meanwhile, the executioner and the assistant had run off and come back with an unbound Jo, searching for the cat. Jo came over to me, rubbing her wrists. "Thanks," she whispered.

"No prob."

The two men were still looking for the cat when suddenly, one of them jumped high in the air, yelling.

"He's gone!"

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**Hey everyone! As usual, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and sorry for the super duper late update! Okay, remember how I said I would just stop this story if there weren't too many people reading it? I lied, I'm realising. I actually love it too much to stop, but there's only going to be 12-13 chapters, so it's pretty much ¾ over… School is taking a toll on me, taking a lot of my time, and so is marching band, leaving only Sundays for writing and all. It really sucks. But anyway, when this story is over, I'm most likely going to be posting another original story or something. AH, I almost forgot! I started a story over on Quotev, called The Other Side. However, it's not a fanfiction and I feel like it's kind of a cliche, but I love it! I hope you guys would check it out! My user over there is Songbytes, so feel free to check it out! **

**Again, thanks for reading, and don't forget to tell me what you thought of the chapter!**


	9. The Mock Turtle's Story

**Hey guys! I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in so long! I wanted to, but I had no motivation. Let's say it was a small break for me. I've been working on NaNoWriMo as well with my BFF, but we couldn't even stay focused long enough to choose a NAME, because she's so picky, but it's not like I'm pointing any fingers… Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and make sure to leave a review for me! **

**Disclaimer - I don't own BTR or Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.**

* * *

_Kendall_

"He's gone!" yelled the executioner, looking even more frantic than before. "Oh man oh man! The King is going to have my head! But I'm the executioner; does that mean I have to behead myself?!"

"Oh hush, you blubbering idiot! Just put out a Wanted for him and wait until someone turns him in," Carlos addressed his assistant and the executioner. He sighed and went back over to his croquet post, picking his flamingo back up and swinging mightily at the poor hedgehog.

Both the assistant and the executioner ran inside, no doubt hurrying to make those posters. As I watched them scramble away, the Duchess Jo came up to me and linked her arm in mine.

She lightly tugged my arm, pulling me to the side and guiding me as we walked away from the game, further away from the castle, but still on castle grounds.

"How have you been, Alice?" she asked me.

"Me?" I questioned. "I…" I sighed. "I don't really even know anymore. By now, I just want to go home." I wondered why the Duchess was being so friendly towards me for once. Maybe it's because there's no pepper around to agitate her.

I drifted off in thought for a bit, thinking about what it would be like if I were a royal. I wouldn't be like any of these people I have met so far. I would be loving toward my subjects. Help the not-so-blessed, hold large banquets where anyone and everyone would be invited, not use random animals as game pawns, stuff like that.

The Duchess leaned into me, putting her lips close to my ear and startling me. I had almost forgotten that she was there. "You're thinking about something. You're so deep in your mind that you've forgotten about your wonderful company, no? There's a saying for a moral about this. I just can't remember it right now. Maybe it'll come to me later. You need to learn a lesson or seven about manners and morals," she accused, flipping her blonde hair and scoffing.

"Maybe there is no moral for this, but you just think there is," I tried, without wanting to offend the already temperamental woman.

The Duchess laughed at this. "There is a moral for everything, young Alice! You just have to look deeper for some than others."

I cringed at the sound of her laughter. It wasn't the best. Furthermore, she wrapped her bony arms around my waist. Since she was the perfect height that her chin could rest on my shoulder, she did that too.

Her chin was sharper than I would have thought.

By then, I was _really_ beginning to get uncomfortable. I didn't think that the Duchess knew that her breath wasn't the best either (I could smell the garlic pizza the had for her previous meal), and she was really invading my personal space, so of course, I would be one to say something about it. BUT, since I didn't want to be rude, I kept my mouth shut about it.

"The match is going a little bit better now, no?" she asked, gesturing to the game across the garden from us. We couldn't see exactly what was happening, but we could see enough through the trees and there wasn't any more yelling either.

We kept walking in silence after this, until I finally couldn't take her close proximity and the stench of her garlic breath. "Do...do you think you could let go of me now?" I asked quietly.

"And why should I do that?" I rolled my eyes. She wasn't going to make this easy for me, was she?

"Because…" I drew the word out. My eyes darted around for a good excuse. "Do you see that flamingo right there?" I gestured to the mallet on the ground right next to where we were standing. We had walked close enough to the game that one of the flamingoes the King threw in his game-induced-rage was laying in front of us.

Jo looked around. "What flamingo?"

I sighed. "The croquet mallet."

"OH! Yes, I see it. What about it, young Alice?"

"I have made peace with it. It will bite you if you do not release me," I lied.

"I am doubtful of the temper of your flamingo. Do you want me to test it out?"

I shook my head. "Let me rephrase that: It _MIGHT_ bite."

"Ooh, this is true. Both flamingoes and mustard have the capability to bite."

What?

"...Mustard's not a bird. How is it able to bite?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"Correct again, Alice! Why must you of all people have the ability to say things so clearly while the rest of us only speak mumbo jumbo?"

"I...don't know?"

"Of course, there is always the chance of mustard being a mineral. If I recall correctly, there's a mustard mine somewhere around here."

"It's not a mineral, you crazy woman! It's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, though," I said.

Our conversation went on as we walked closer and closer to the tournament. The closer we got, the more pointless it got. Pretty soon, while we were both looking up at the sky due to one of the Duchess' statements, the King had appeared in front of us.

He cleared his throat loudly, drawing our attention to his highness. "Just _what_ are you two going on about?"

"Well, you see-" I was interrupted by Carlos waving his hand dismissively.

"It was a rhetorical question. I could not care less about your weird conversations. However, Duchess!" he snapped at Jo, causing her to jump slightly. "I need you to run some errands for me. Go order my servants to mop all of the stoves in the house _**(1)**_. Tell them to vacuum the windows too."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Sir! I am a man!"

"Sir!" she squeaked before running inside the building to complete the insane tasks given to her.

"Now, Um, will you please join me in the rest of this match? We have kept your mallet warm and it is now only myself, you, and Bitters."

"Bitters?" Why did that name sound familiar to me? I looked around, trying to gather a clue of who that was when I saw a little rock on the ground struggling to roll itself through one of the only card-arches (as all of the others have been sent off for beheadings by the King to be made by the _absent_ executioner). I snorted, trying to stifle a giggle at how obscure it looked.

"Alright, Bitters! Since I can't behead you, stop trying. The game is over, and I'm pretty sure rolling yourself through the arches was cheating," the King yelled at the rock.

"NO!" Bitters yelled. "I CAN DO IT. I HAVE TO MAKE MOMMY PROUD OF ME!"

"Yeah, okay. You have fun over there," Carlos dismissed. "Well, while he's being an idiot, I need to ask you: have you gone to see the Mock Turtle yet?"

"Not that I know of. What's a Mock Turtle?"

"The thing that makes Mock Turtle Soup. Ever heard of it?"

"Nope."

He let out a big breath before saying, "Come with me. I will bring you to meet him. He can tell you a few things."

Carlos linked his arm with mine and started dragging me with him who-knows-where.

We walked in silence with the occasional warble from a four winged bird or an eighteen legged insect until we reached the edge of the grounds. We walked around the edge until a Gryphon came into view.

The Gryphon was quite an extraordinary creature. It had the body of a strong lion and the wings, talons, and head of an eagle.

"You! Lazy bones! Wake up!" the King yelled, tapping the creature with a boot covered foot.

"Mmph. Mwhaddya mwamnt?" it mumbled.

"I _want_ you to guide this young lady to the Mock Turtle. I would do it myself, but I need to go overlook these executions I have ordered," the King explained before turning on his shiny heel and strutting away.

I didn't exactly want to get close to the beast as it wasn't the friendliest looking being, but I chose to stay with it rather than going back with the King and risking certain death.

The Gryphon sat up, stretched its wings out, and sat on its rear end, much like a cat or dog would. It waited until the King was out of sight before yawning and saying, "What fun!" It seemed as if half was to itself and half was to me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. You know that the King never executes anyone? It's all just a bunch of talk. He's trying to make it seem like he's a cold hearted King, but that's not the case. He's actually the most immature, fun-loving person in this place. He knows that he has responsibilities though, so he never shows it around others. I, myself, am one of the exceptions though. Anyway, come on, let's go!" The Gryphon stood, stretching its wings out once more. "Climb on. Make sure to hold on tight."

I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't like flying. Especially without a seatbelt! I hesitantly and reluctantly climbed aboard my new death trap.

"Comfy?" it asked, shaking its body and ruffling its feathers, preparing for flight.

"And we're off!" It grunted as it shot into the air, high above the trees. I gasped as we broke the sound barrier with how fast we were moving. My hair was whipping so fast in the wind it almost hurt. I closed my eyes and tried to zone out my surroundings, pretending I was back home.

Thinking about home and my mom and little sister always made me feel better, even if I was just at school or something and I started missing them. I wondered if they were worried about me, or how long I'd be gone.

Sometime after I had been immersed in my thoughts, the Gryphon slowed down and got closer and closer to the ground. Before it had even touched down yet, I jumped off its back and landed face down in the grass below me. I had never been so happy to see earth again. I kissed the ground for a couple minutes, until the Gryphon told me to stop making out with the dirt and that we needed to go talk to the turtle.

I grunted and got up, dusted myself off, then followed the Gryphon up to a little cliff overlooking the ocean. There, we saw the Mock Turtle sitting on a rock close to the edge of the cliff.

As we neared, I heard a little sad sigh of pity come from the Turtle and I was immediately concerned. "Is he okay?" I asked.

"He's fine. He says he only likes himself if he's buried in sorrow. He's a weird little reptile thing. Let's talk to him." The Gryphon went and stood in front of the turtle. I did the same, seeing tears in his eyes and feeling sympathetic, even though I didn't know exactly why he was sad.

"Turtle, this here young lady wants to hear your story," said the Gryphon. I didn't even bother to correct my gender.

"I shall tell my story, but there shall be no interruptions until I'm finished. Got it?"

We both nodded our heads, sat down, and waited for the storytelling to commence.

We waited. And waited. I looked down at my invisible wristwatch.

About what I would call ten minutes later, the turtle still hadn't said a word.

How was he supposed to finish if he didn't even _start_ yet?!

We waited even more, until finally, he took a deep breath and said, "Once...I was a real turtle."

This statement was followed by another long silence. The silence was only broken for half a second when the Gryphon yelled, "Hjckrrh!" when a bug flew into his mouth. There was also the constant sobbing coming from the Turtle.

I was so ready to stand up, say "Thanks for the interesting story," then walk away, but I waited patiently, figuring that there HAD to be more than just that.

After what felt like another ten minutes, the Mock Turtle finally spoke once more. "I used to go to sea school everyday when I was a kid. My teacher was an old man named Tortoise."

"Wait," I interrupted, "Why was his name 'Tortoise' if he wasn't a tortoise?"

"Hush, young girl! I said no interrupting my story! Anyway, he called himself that because he 'taught us.' Yes, we went to school in the sea, even though some may not believe it-"

"I never said I didn't believe it!" I exclaimed.

"You did."

"Hush, Alice!" said the Gryphon. "Let the old turtle finish his sob story."

"Anyways, moving along with my story. I was indeed educated well, as my education was the finest education one could receive."

"MY education is pretty good!" I said.

"Oh really? Do you have extras too, other than studies?" the Turtle asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. I have learned French and music as well!" I boasted unconsciously.

"And washing?"

"What? No, of course not!"

"Haha! Then your school was nowhere near as good as mine."

"How long were your lessons every day?"

"Hmm, now see, that is a very trivial matter because as time went on, with each passing day, the lessons got shorter and shorter. I actually believe this was because they were called 'lessens' instead of actual 'lessons.'"

"So what happened when there was no time left in the day due to the lessens?" I asked, curious as to how this turtle was schooled.

"Well, we started off with ten hours a day, then nine, and so on."

"So was the eleventh day a holiday?"

"Of course it was!"

"So what about the twelvth day?'

"I think that we've had enough talk about school and lessons," Gryphon interrupted. He looked at the Turtle. "Tell Alice something about the games now."

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_**(1)** _\- meechonmars, everybody. Love his vines lol.

**So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I know it wasn't that long, but I worked hard on it! Hopefully I can get back into a schedule for writing and posting, not just doing it when I can or when I feel like it. Make sure you leave a review for me! Love you guys**


	10. The Lobster-Quadrille

**Hey guys! Enjoy the chapter :)**

**Disclaimer - I own nothing here, sorry.**

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_Kendall_

"Games? What games?" I asked, wondering curiously.

The Mock Turtle sighed heavily in the midst of his sobbing once more. He looked at me. "Have you ever been introduced to a lobster of any kind?" he asked.

I've eaten a couple of lobsters, but I haven't ever really been introduced to one. It's not really normal to meet talking animals, much less be introduced to some. Then again, he _is_ kind of a sea animal thing, so I guess saying that I ate a lobster would offend him. "No," I said simply.

"Hmph." He cut out his sobbing about his life to chuff at me before starting once more, but quietly. "It doesn't shock me that you wouldn't have ever been introduced to one."

I rolled my eyes at his subtle insult.

He continued, "There is such thing as the Lobster-Quadrille. It's a dance where all sea animals, excluding jellyfish because they like to sting, partner up with every single available lobster, making two lines in front of the ocean. The pairs then dance with the lobsters closer and closer to the ocean shore before grabbing them and throwing them into the sea."

I tilted my head in confusion. "What?" I asked.

"I'm not done!" the Mock Turtle screeched.

"Okay, okay!" I backed off.

"Then after the lobsters are thrown into the sea, their partners have to swim after them and bring them back to shore to the back of the lines. And the dance continues until everyone's been thrown in or gets tired," he finished.

I wondered, thinking about all of the pretty, yet weird looking sea creatures that would perform. I pictured a small brown seal wrapping its tiny little flippers around a bright red lobster and tossing it into the water.

The Gryphon chuckled before suggesting that he and the Turtle perform a demonstration of the first part of the dance.

"Of course!" exclaimed the Turtle, his sobbing ceasing. "Oh, but which will sing?"

"You should sing, I can barely even remember half of the song!" said the Gryphon.

"Okay!" He cleared his throat before singing deeply in a very somber, emotional voice about a whiting talking to a snail about lobsters joining a dance. He moved around with the Gryphon until the song was over, they were both looking like they were about to cry.

I pulled myself together, taking a deep breath and letting it out. "That dance was very...interesting."

"How about the song? Did it tickle your fancy? Have you ever even met a whiting before?"

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot that time we had whiting for din-" I stopped short, remembering that these animals wouldn't appreciate the fact that I ate one of their friends for dinner.

"Since you've had them over for Din, even thought I do not know what this Din is, it must mean that you know much about them and what they're like."

"Oh, I know exactly what they're like! They have their tails in their mouths and crumbs all over them, especially with leaves and stuff surrounding them," I said excitedly, remembering when I ate them for dinner. I was still hungry too.

"Crumbs? Where? What crumbs? I have never met a whiting with crumbs before. I wonder what that's like," said the Gryphon. "Alice?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to know why a whiting is called a whiting?"

"Uh, no."

"Well you're going to learn anyway."

"It does the boots and shoes!" screeched the Turtle.

"Boots and shoes?" I asked.

"What do you think polishes your human shoes?" asked the Gryphon.

"I'm pretty sure it's called like blacking or something. Maybe its just called shoe polish."

"Well, as your boots and shoes are done with blacking, boots and shoes under the sea are done with a whiting," he explained.

"Huh. I don't think I really needed to know that, but okay. thinking back on that weird song, I remember you singing something about a porpoise stepping on the whiting's tail, yet the whiting still danced with him. If it were me, I would've left the porpoise out of the dance because of that."

"It's considered incredibly dumb for a sea creature to go anywhere without a porpoise," said the Mock Turtle, a pun on purpose.

"Let's not talk about this anymore. It's incredibly boring. Alice, what have you done since you've gotten to Wonderland?" asked the Gryphon.

"Well, I can tell you some stuff about what's happened since this morning because it's who I am now. If I tried to explain yesterday to you, it would be nonsensical because I was a different person then."

"Well don't be shy! Go on and tell us all of that. It doesn't matter who you were or who you are, it'll all be the same in the end. Do spill your darkest secrets."

"They're not secrets, and they're not that dark." And so began my recountation of all of the events that have happened to me since I got to this extreme place. I started all the way at the beginning, from when I first saw that darned (but cute) White Rabbit.

I kept telling my story, but as I progressed, I got more and more uncomfortable, as the Turtle and the Gryphon started getting closer and closer to me as they listened on each side. They even opened their mouths and eyes so wide that I got incredibly creeped out and rushed through the last of the story so that they would stop.

I finished telling and all was silent until the Gryphon interrupted the noiselessness in the air. "Repeat 'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,'" he boomed.

"What? No, I don't remember any of that."

"I think you'd be better off stopping right there. Turtle McGrumpypants over there gets mad when others can't remember and correctly recite literature, if you couldn't tell," the Gryphon helped me.

"Yeah, I think you're right."

"So should I ask the Mock Turtle to sing you a tune or should we all work together to add onto the Lobster's-Quadrille?"

"I hate to even think to say this, but I'd rather listen to the Turtle."

The Mock Turtle sucked in a deep breath before releasing a somehow screechy baritone. He sung of beautiful turtle soup. The Gryphon was swaying along to the sound of the Turtle's voice when we heard a loud announcement cut through the air, stopping all noise around it.

"Let the trials begin!"

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**Hahaha cliffhanger. Sorry for the late update, business combined with school, you know how it goes. I was also thinking that after I finished this story, I would start on another. Any ideas? Sorry if the chapter was bad or offends anyone (I literally spent only 5 hours on it and I'm half asleep too so), and let me know what you think**


	11. Who Stole the Tarts?

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer - I own nothing here, sadly.**

* * *

_White Rabbit (Logan)_

"Oh man, that King is sure to have my ears and tail on his dinner plate tonight! I have to make it on time!" I pulled out my pocket watch and checked the time. It was still the same time it was when I was at the Hatter's place. Terrible, just awful.

Well, I could have just sat there and let time waste away by blaming it on that handsome Alice, but there wasn't enough light in the day! I scurried closer and closer to the courtroom, ready to be on the jury at the hearing of the King's unknown topic.

When I drew nearer, the guards at the gate saw me and opened the heavy steel doors, moving out of my way as they did. I scrambled in through the doors, only glancing around the wide room that opened into the courtroom chamber. My tail and ears twitched as I found my place in the jury, all of us along one side of the room. I could see the red King getting ready for the hearing behind the podium, his assistant helping him calm down, as he was obviously furious about something. Most likely what the case was about.

I sat down, finally breathing. Looking around, I saw the red decorations scattered around the large room. A bright chandelier with dangling red crystals let light, flowery light dance across the room as the sunlight hit it and flew in all directions. The carpet, a deep blood velvet, was smooth, and spotless. The throne, made of gold and covered in actual red velvet and silk looked absolutely delightful to park my tail on!

Feeling around with my paws on the table in front of me, I grabbed the board and the quill and wrote down my name. These court hearings usually lasted so long that all of the jury, including me, forgot our names oftentime by the end.

I could finally see Alice, my handsome, devilishly charming blonde Alice walk into the courtroom. He was accompanied by that Gryphon, the lucky old bastard. Alice will be mine!

-o.O.o-

_Kendall_

We got to the courthouse after all that yelling and talk about a trial beginning for something I had no clue about. I only hoped that I wasn't somehow dragged into it, said to be involved.

The Gryphon led me in, directing me and telling me where to go. We sat down on one of the benches soon enough as we waited for the trial to start. I saw, up at the front in chains, the assistant of the king. His eyes were pointed down at the ground, refusing to look up and let people see them. I kind of felt bad looking at him. I didn't think he'd be the type of person to commit a crime. Although, everything in this place was wonky. Not too much surprised me anymore.

Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked toward it and saw what must have been the Jury. Several desks were all lined up against the right side of the room, all but one were occupied by different animals, different species, each unique. They each had a chalkboard of sorts in front of them, with a writing tool on the side of the boards.

All of them sat down, each gathering themselves before eventually taking their writing utensil and their board and writing something down. I leaned over toward the Gryphon, whispering, "What are they doing?"

He looked at me, then at the Jury, then back at me. "They're writing their names down. These court cases usually last a very long time, long enough for them to forget their names. It's a precaution of sort, so that they know who they are."

"Well… that seems sort of stupid. Even if this trial lasted a week, how could they forget their own na-" I was interrupted.

"Silence in the court!" yelled the White Rabbit. At this, the whole courtroom went deadly silent, save for the scratching of feathers on boards. I could see all of the jurors writing down what I had said about them writing down their names and how it was stupid. I tried not to chuckle as one asked another how to spell 'stupid.'

The King looked around, craning his neck, looking for whoever was talking, so he could call them out.

I looked back at the Jury, hearing a loud _squeeeak_ noise coming from one of the jurors' quills. I located the perpetrator and quickly went up behind him. He was so focused on writing that he didn't even see me, and was completely surprised when I took the quill out of his hand. It was Juror Bill, the lizard, I found out as I read from his board.

"_Excuse_ me?" he asked, disbelieving.

"Hi there. Um, your quill scratching and squeaking on this board here was getting on my nerves. I'm confiscating it until you can figure out how to write without making so much noise." I explained.

"Oh well, it can't be helped," the lizard said before pulling his tail from underneath his body (put there to keep it safe when he was sitting in the chair) and placing it on the board, immediately beginning to continue writing with it. A single mark wasn't made. I sighed.

Making my way back to sit next to the Gryphon, the White Rabbit from earlier caught my eye. He was part of the Jury! I diverted my eyes from his, sitting down and looking at the ground until a bell rung from off in the distance, and the King stood up.

"Rabbit!" he called. The White Rabbit scrambled not-so-gracefully out of his seat and stood at nervous attention in his spot. "Read the accusation!"

"Y-y-y-yes your Highness!" he said. The Rabbit stuck his head under his table, then popped back up with a long, medieval looking trumpet. He blew three long notes, and put it back down. This time, he came back up with a beige-looking parchment scroll.

"Ahem!" he cleared his throat. "The King, Lord Carlos, has made some tarts to enjoy. Two days later, his tarts went missing! Oh my! He says he told no one except for his assistant, here, in chains at the front, and that he didn't even get a chance to eat any of the tarts. This case has been called to court, as the King wishes to accuse his assistant of stealing his beloved tarts."

Sitting back down, the King said, "Jury, consider your final verdict."

The White Rabbit dropped the scroll at his feet, not even bothering to pick it up. "Sir! We have to actually discuss the case and review the evidence before we do anything, not to mention calling up witnesses."

"Fine, whatever. Just...call your first witness." the King said, tiredly.

The Rabbit picked up his horn again and blew it for some odd reason. "I call the first witness to the stand," he said.

The whole room was silent. The scratching of the quills was even gone.

"Ahem. I call the first witness to the stand," he said a little more forcefully.

There was more silence, before a snore, and a thud. A few seconds later, I saw a sleepy Mad Hatter walk up to the podium and plop down right before promptly leaning back and falling asleep in the chair.

"Psst!" a small voice peeped. I could see the small Dormouse crawling out from underneath his hat, pulling on his hair and pinching his nose, trying to get him to wake up.

"Eh?! What?" The Hatter woke up, his hat flying off of his head as he looked around frantically, wondering why his slumber had been interrupted. His long, wavy brown hair was exposed for me to see. I laughed quietly at the look of bewilderment on his face.

"You're in court, you rude imbecil! You've been called to stand. Sit up straight! Grab your hat! Speak! Give me this!" the Dormouse squeaked, pushing and pulling at the Hatter to make him sort of presentable. The mouse had went into his pocket and pulled out a sandwich, a kettle, a gravy boat, a sugar container, and a teacup. How'd all of that even fit in the-

Nevermind.

The Hatter listened for the most part and composed himself a little bit before beginning to speak. "...ON THE FOURTEENTH OF MARCH," he introduced very, _very_ grandly, "I think that's when all of this junk happened. I'm tired. Dormouse, may I leave?"

"It was the fifteenth," chirped the March Hare from somewhere behind me.

"Sixteenth," squeaked the Dormouse, who had crawled into the now-empty pocket of the Hatter's over-coat vest.

"Write all of this down," the King said to the Jury, pointing at their half-empty boards. They all jumped into action, squeaking away with their annoying quills. Juror Bill did his best to "write" with his tail.

"Take off that hat!" Carlos boomed.

"It's not mine," the Hatter replied.

"So it's stolen."

"No. I make them all. They're only for sale. I make none to keep for my own. I am a Hatter after all."

"So...why can't you take it off?"

"Because, your Majesty, it is simply not made to be."

"Uh...okay. Moving along, would you please present your evidence to me so we can all move along? I have to go watch the sunset, and right after that, there's a human chess match in the courtyard. Snap snap, make it quick."

Right then, I had felt something weird start to happen. I felt the Dormouse crawl up onto my arm. I didn't even notice it slipping out of the Hatter's pocket.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Me?" I responded. "Nothing's wrong with me."

"Of course there is. You have absolutely no right to grow here. And at such a rapid pace too."

"That's stupid. You're growing. Everyone else in here is too," I added, looking around the hall for added effect.

"Whatever," the Dormouse said before getting up and trotting back over to the Hatter to stay in his pocket for the rest of the hearing. Up at the podium, the King had gone back to arguing with the Hatter about having his ridiculous hat on.

"UGH!" grunted Carlos. "Can we _please_ just talk about this and move on?

"Right. As you know, sir, I'm a very poor, poor man. I've been sitting here, trying to drink my tea for the past few millennia, and then, my sandwiches started getting thinner and thinner about a week ago. How I miss my twinkling tea," explained the Hatter, making absolutely no sense at all.

"...Twinkling starts with a T. How can you miss a T if it's right there in the word?" asked the King.

"My tea," said the Hatter.

"So you take me for a fool, is that what you're getting at here?" Carlos asked disbelievingly.

"No, no, absolutely not."

"Then keep going. You're beginning to annoy me…"

"As I was saying, I'm a very poor man, and after the March Hare had told me that-" the Hatter was cut off.

"I didn't tell you anything!" the Hare shouted from somewhere in the audience.

"Yes, you did! Don't lie!" snapped the Mad Hatter.

"I did not!"

"AHEM!" the King grunted. "He says he didn't say anything, so drop it and move on please. This is becoming redundant."

"Anyways, since the Hare says he didn't say anything, the Dormouse had said," he paused, looking around for the Dormouse to make sure he wasn't interrupted again. After a moment of silence, he continued, "After what the Dormouse said, I went to go pour myself some wonderful tasting tea."

"What? Who cares about your tea, Hatter? What did the mouse say?" one of the animals on the Jury asked.

"Huh? Oh. I can't seem to recall. Oh well, let's move on-"

"Hatter!" yelled the King.

"Yes, your Majesty?" the Hatter replied meekly, scared of getting yelled at again.

"Can you _please_ get to the point here?" he sighed.

By now, the Hatter had began groveling on the floor, sliding out of his seat to prop himself on one knee of the lush, red, carpeted floor. "I'm a very poor man, your Highness-"

"You're also a very poor storyteller," muttered King Carlos.

One of the members of the audience, a small, furry, adorable little pig, must have liked what the King said, for he cheered when it was quiet.

The King snapped his fingers, and three armed card guards came in, ready for a fight. They all got in their defensive positions before one of them stepped forward and pulled out a bag with a string tied around the lip. It loosened the string and opened the bag as one of the other guards grabbed the pig and shoved it in the bag. All three stepped back into place and returned behind the scenes silently.

My eyes widened. "But…" I whispered, "It was so cute…"

After the little pig was taken away, Carlos went on, wiping a small, but visible bead of sweat from his dark eyebrows. "Now, if you're done, go sit down back in the audience."

"Well, you see, I can't really do that."

The King sighed, placing his head in his hand and shaking it, as if he were willing an oncoming headache to go away. "And why is that?"

"Because I can't really sit right now. I'm on the floor."

"Can someone execute this man? His stupidity is really itching my nerves."

The Hatter yelped. "But I need to finish my tea! Please don't have someone execute me."

"Ugh. Fine, just get out of my sight. I don't want to have to deal with your idiocy for another century or two."

The Hatter jumped up and scurried toward the exit.

"Can someone execute him outside please?" the King added for good measure.

An officer next to the King had started to run for the Hatter, but the Hatter was already out the door before the officer could even take his first step.

The officer sat back down and Carlos began the trial again. "Can the next witness go up there? Like, take the stand before I feel like having everyone in this room executed, just so I can have my tarts."

The next mad person to take the stand was the cook from earlier, the one who reminded me of Chef from the Muppets. She carried her pepper thing with her, and everyone she walked past began to sneeze violently. The sneezing died away a few moments after she took a seat in the same chair that the Hatter was in only moments ago.

"Okay, cook. Give me your evidence to help my assistant get out of his chains," Carlos demanded.

"I can't," said the cook.

"Your Majesty?" a small voice came from beside the King. He looked over to find the White Rabbit at his side. "I believe you must examine this witness thoroughly."

"Hmm. Perhaps you are right." He turned his head back to the witness stand. "Cook!" he boomed. The cook jumped out of her chair for a moment before composing herself once more and settling back down.

"What are tarts made out of?" he asked.

"Pepper, mostly," responded the cook.

"Treacle," a sleepy Dormouse said from behind her.

The entire court suddenly went into a rushed panic. "_Someone _put a collar on that Dormouse!" shouted the King. Similar yells and protests raised out of the crowd's frenzy. I was so confused. I didn't know what was happening.

Leaning over to the Gryphon, I asked, "What's going on?"

"The King was testing the cook, asking her what tarts were made out of. The answer was treacle, a substance almost like molasses, but since she answered pepper, her answer was wrong, and therefore, she should have been beheaded, until the mouse answered for her the correct answer." The Gryphon explained, but then turned his attention back to the chaos.

"I understood absolutely none of that, but alright."

After a few minutes, everyone started to settle down, and I noticed that the cook was no longer at the stand. She must have slipped away in all of the confusion.

"She's gone!" the King yelled, surprised. "Oh well. Call the next witness!"

I watched as the cute White Rabbit pored over his list, seeing who the next witness would be.

I was surprised when his voice squeaked out the next name at the top of his lungs.

"Alice!"

* * *

**I'm so sorry for the long wait! High school is catching up with me, for real. But I also lost my phone, and I've been spending all of my time on this computer and I decided to sit down and finish this chapter. It's taken me three hours of sitting here to write and edit, but it's totally worth it. For those of you still reading, you all are awesome! And there's only a chapter or two left until this story is over… :( But thank you all for reading, and tell me what you thought of the chapter!**


	12. Kendall's Evidence

**Hiiiiiiii! I'm back with la Last Chapter of this story! For some, it's a relief, "Thank goodness, she's done with this horrid abomination." For others, it's a tragedy, "No! I don't want it to be over yet!" For me, it's in between. I'm gonna miss this story, as I always do when I finish one, but finishing allows me to move on to other, more original works. Anyways, enough from me. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer - Even though it's the last chapter, it still doesn't belong to me.**

* * *

_Kendall_

_Previously - I watched as the cute White Rabbit pored over his list, seeing who the next witness would be. _

_I was surprised when his voice squeaked out the next name at the top of his lungs. _

_"Alice!"_

My head shot up as I heard my name (or rather what everyone thought my name was) called. It seemed to echo in the courtroom, echoing inside of my head too.

"Erm, me?" I asked, sheepish.

"Yes, you," Carlos said, looking annoyed.

I slowly stood up and started walking to the stand. I had forgotten I actually grew a few feet in size only a few moments ago, so when I passed the Jury, I accidentally knocked over the Rabbit.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Rabbit!" I stumbled, helping him up. How embarrassing, I sighed.

The Rabbit fluffed himself up again and looked at me. He squinted, and shook his tail around. His chocolate brown eyes peered into my green ones.

"It's Logan. I'm fine."

"Oh, I can tell…" I said, dumbly, facepalming on the inside. That was so stupid. I just called him fine to his face. Oh boy.

He blushed a crimson red before giving me a gentle shove toward the stand. I snapped back to reality and took my place in the courtroom. I could hear all of the Jury scratching away at their boards as they wrote down what just took place, except for the Rabbit- Logan. Why I was a witness? I would never know.

"Okay Alice. I'm going to hope that you can give me some information because I'm absolutely tired of being here, but I also don't plan on leaving until I get some answers as to who stole my treats. Now, I will kindly ask you, what all do you know about this?"

"About what, your Majesty?" I asked, shifting in my seat. The chair was actually quite uncomfortable.

"About the tarts. About why we're here, this entire case," he clarified. I could tell that his patience was running thin.

"Oh. Well, nothing, really. I only found out about this like, thirty minutes ago."

"Tea Time!" screeched the Hatter from off in the distance.

Glancing at the door, I cracked a small smile before looking back at the King. It faded when I saw the angry look he was giving me.

"What do you mean, nothing?"

"Uh, nothing. I don't know anything other than what's been said in here today."

"So you know nothing of this whatsoever?" Carlos persisted.

"Yes."

"So you do know something!"

"No, I was saying, 'yes, I know nothing,'" I explained.

The King sighed, turning to the Jury. "You're supposed to be writing this all down. This is all very important stuff."

The Jury all jumped into action, grabbing their boards and writing like crazy. The hall was once more filled with the scratching of their writing.

"He means unimportant!" chirped Logan.

"Uhm, right!" tried the King. It seemed he didn't know the difference between important and unimportant. He began muttering to himself, "Important...unimportant...important...unimportant...unimportant...important…"

Some of the Jury began writing down what the King was doing, some followed as he mumbled to himself, and some just sat in their chairs like lumps.

This is really weird, I yawned.

After almost what seemed like five minutes, Carlos spoke up. "Silence in the court, everyone! You there!" he pointed at the Lizard. "Quit breathing so loud. Now, according to Rule Doughnut, All people taller than a mile high are not allowed in the court."

Everyone turned their attention from the King's face to mine. "I'll have you know, I'm not a mile tall. In fact, I'm nowhere close to that height," I smirked.

The King glanced at me with a blank expression on his face. "You are."

"I'm not," I argued.

"You're two miles, then."

"I'm really not. At this rate, I'm not leaving anytime soon. And what kind of rule name is 'Rule Doughnut?'"

"It's code for rule number 42," he explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"But you came up with that just now."

"Pish posh. It's the oldest rule in the book," he tried.

"If it was the oldest rule, wouldn't it be number one? And where is this book you're talking about?"

The King looked around nervously. "Consider your verdict," he said to the Jury, changing the attention flow.

"But your Majesty, there's more evidence to be presented," said the cute White Rabbit.

"Like what?" Carlos questioned.

The Rabbit held up a white slip of paper. "This has just been brought in."

"What's in it?" the King asked as Logan scampered over to where his Majesty was sitting.

"I...have no clue. But it seems like it's a letter. It looks to be written by the prisoner of this case...to someone..."

"Well, who's it written to? It could be written to no one, but what's the point in writing a letter if it's not going to anyone?" one of the Jurymen asked, a small koi fish who seemed content with being out of water.

"It doesn't seem like it was written to anyone…" said the White Rabbit as he investigated the letter. "Well, there's nothing even written on the outside." He opened the letter, scanning the contents. "It isn't even a letter. It's a bunch of verses."

"Is it written in the prisoner's handwriting?" another one of the jurymen, an old frog, asked.

"No. And that's the weirdest thing. If it's from the prisoner, then why isn't it in his handwriting?" the Rabbit wondered aloud.

The Jury all looked absolutely bewildered at what they had heard the Rabbit just say.

The King spoke up. "He must have copied someone else's handwriting. Or had someone else write it for him."

The Jury seemed to feel better at this and settled down a bit.

"Your Majesty," croaked a voice that hadn't spoken for the entire duration of the trial. "I didn't write that! No one can prove it either. There's no name signed at the end," the (ex) assistant of the King tried to defend himself.

"If you didn't sign it, that only makes things worse, and you should have kept your mouth shut about that last part. How would you know that there's no name signed at the end if you haven't seen it and didn't write it? You must have meant to cause some form of confusion, or else you would have signed your name on it like an honest man would," said the King.

That was the first thing he's said today that actually makes sense. Slow, gentle clapping arose, starting to crescendo to a light thunder before doing a decrescendo back into silence.

"The fact that he didn't sign it proves his guilt," concluded the King.

"Well...that actually doesn't really prove anything," I spoke up again. "You don't even know what they're about!"

"Read them, then!" the King retorted.

The White Rabbit jumped up and read what was written on the paper out loud.

The further the Rabbit read, the less the text made sense. I had forgotten that I was still growing too, so when my head hit the ceiling, I had started getting uncomfortable once more. By the time the Rabbit finished reading, I was sure my face was red, and the ceiling had started to crack.

Carlos rubbed his hands together. "This here is the most important piece of evidence. Let's let the jury ex-"

"If anyone in the Jury can explain it, I'll give them money. I don't think I'll be any less rich when I leave here. There's no meaning in that. It makes no sense," I proposed.

The scratching of the Jury writing things down filled the air. It was silent after they stopped.

"No one can understand and explain, then." I curled up further into myself.

"If there's no meaning and no one can explain it, then that saves me a lot of trouble. Hey Assistant. Can you swim?" asked the King.

The chained man looked around. "No. Do I look like I can?" he asked, holding up his chains.

"Okay. So we know that I gave him two tarts…"

"What are you even talking about anymore?" I asked.

"Let the Jury consider their verdict!" shouted Carlos for the umpteenth time so far.

"Um…" I mumbled.

"Wait, no! Let's sentence him for eating my tarts and then have the verdict.

"That makes no sense! Why would you punish someone and not find out if they were guilty of doing it or not yet. What if he didn't do it, and you punished him anyways?" I tried giving him a piece of my mind.

"Watch your tongue! Don't be rude!"

"I won't!"

"Off with her head!" he screeched. No one moved.

"This is all so stupid. Who cares about you? No one! You're so mean, and evil. You run a kingdom by means of a pack of cards!"

As soon as I said that, the guard cards all started floating in the air. Their weapons clattered to the floor, and I yelped, dodging a thin sword. Then, all at once, they rushed toward me, surrounding me. They covered me completely, and I couldn't see. I tried blocking them, and swinging my arms, pushing them away, before they disappeared suddenly.

I opened my eyes, only to find myself on a bench in the State park, which happened to be close to my house. I looked around, seeing my three best friends crowding around me.

"Whoa dude. You okay? You were acting weird when you left school earlier. What happened? You were running like a bat out of hell before passing out on this bench," James explained, standing in front of me.

"Looked like you were chasing something," said Carlos, who was sitting on my right, chomping on a corn dog and talking with his mouth full right in front of my face.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked me. He was sitting to my left.

I looked around for the giant Oak tree, but couldn't find it. Only thin, leafless trees and thick bushes. "I just had the weirdest dream, guys…"

"I'm sure you did, and you can tell us about it on the way home," James said, pulling me off the bench by my arms.

We all walked to our houses, which were conveniently all near each other in the same neighborhood. I had started explaining, telling them how they were each in it, who they were, what happened. We ordered pizza and ate together. By the time I finished with waking up and finding them, it was almost midnight.

All of us decided to get some shuteye and see how I felt tomorrow. I bid farewell to all of them, watching them go to their respective homes. Logan was the last to leave. He gave me a gentle hug before leaving and disappearing into his home. Not without one last look, though. His eyes met mine, and my breath caught in my lungs.

"Curiouser and curiouser."

-o.O.o-

**_Epilogue_**

_Logan_

Kendall looked cuter than ever while he was asleep on that bench. I had watched over him until he woke up, Carlos and James with me. I crawled into bed, thinking of him. The others had no idea how I felt about him. I'm sure he himself doesn't even know.

I rolled over, sleep claiming me.

Dreaming of Kendall, I watched him as he and I sat together on the couch a while ago. I could hear him speaking, but it was really distant, as if he were shouting from across a football field. My mind shifted to watching him as he went through that magical place I had only seen once before. I remember him calling it Wonderland. I saw everything that he described and more. I saw a White Rabbit, scurrying not to be late. I saw the Mouse as it splashed around in the salty pool. I saw everything, from seeing James at the never-ending tea party, to seeing Carlos yelling at Kendall, "Off with her head!"

I could see, and feel everything, although it was almost as if I was watching it on a 3D movie screen. I thought about how this would affect Kendall in the future. What if he told people? If he believed it actually happened? He'd get locked up for sure!

He'd grow up, and remember his childhood. It could go down a certain path. His life would be wasted, rotting away in some asylum. No, I refuse to let that happen. He's going to have a family. He's going to remember wonderland as a dream. He's going to remember all of his simple sadness, wonderful pleasures, and great joys.

He's going to remember us. Me.

* * *

**Well, there goes the last chapter. Sorry for any spelling/grammar issues, I'm too lazy to turn on spellcheck. Here comes the credits and ranting. I stole this entire story, and I wanna delete it tbh. I didn't steal it from anyone other than Lewis Carroll but it's not that original anymore. There wasn't any action/adventure or romance like I had originally wanted, but whatever. Maybe I'll fix it in the future.**

**I wanna thank you guys who supported me in the beginning, in the middle, and all the way to the end of this story. Yeah, you guys definitely lost interest, I could tell. And tbh, I did too. I was so excited to write this back when I first started it. Now it's been almost, or even over a year since I started, and I'm only just now finishing. School definitely got in the way, and the fact that I don't have wifi anymore contributed too. I feel like people aren't really enjoying my stories anymore, so if you don't see anything new from me in a while, I'm sorry. I mean, I'll still post on other websites, but just not as often as I used to. I mean, I might come back and post something on here too, if I get back the heart to write fanfiction anymore. On those other websites, I should still be under the same PurpleFlamesAndSevenSense, but the stories there aren't really fanfiction. I've moved much of my stuff on here over there, but over there, they're mostly originals, so idk if any of you guys would be interested. I know I can't really link too much in here, but I'd really love it if you went to check out some of my stories on Wattpad, Quotev, Ao3, etc. Sorry that I'm not as into this as I used to be, but the support isn't really there anymore, so I don't feel too inspired to write. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for those few who've been there for me, helping me along the way, but I don't get much more anywhere else. I wanted to at least finish this story so I didn't have to worry about it and have that nagging feeling in the back of my mind for ANOTHER unfinished story, so there's that, at least…**

**Anyways, I'm sure you guys don't care. Moving along, I still love you all, I'll still check up on you guys every now and then, and I hope you all have a great day! Even though I just did all that horrible ranting, don't forget to tell me what you thought of this chapter!**


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